A new realization...kind of

Okay, so yesterday I believed that I had it somewhat figured out. I would finally allow myself to relax and actually enjoy myself without worry or anxiety. You see, I have this belief that if I truly let myself relax and think, yes, things are pretty good, well, the universe crosses it's arms and says "is that so?" and throws something at me that I won't enjoy. I think there's a "King of the Hill" episode about this. So, let me back track. When I was five, I wrote short stories about my dog. My parents announced that I was gifted and showered me with too much praise. I liked this and then kept writing. When I was ten I announced that I would write a novel. Cut to fifteen years later. I finally completed my first novel at twenty five because I had too. It was my thesis for my Masters Degree. My adviser loved it. This gave me confidence. I thought because a writer liked it, a real published writer, that I may find an agent. I thought, who wouldn't want to publish a book about a young girl battling with a family ghost which has haunted her mother from Korea from past generations?
So, to get to the main point, I have recently been a secretary type person for the past five or six years working twelve hour days every other week or so, while trying to write in the evening. I went through a divorce, yadda, yadda, and... right, so, I lacked the tenacity and motivation that a person needs to get this done. Solution, I moved from my beloved Pasadena to Irvine to take a part time position and I would finally write, I would finally get this done.
Well, today I learned, after only three weeks at my new job which I was loving with caution, (not too much responsibility, lovely hours, time to spend with my cats), that the person I was assisting would be leaving. Would I be able to take on this full time job, with about a hundred times more responsibility and months of training?
Grateful to have the opportunity, terrified I will somehow ruin this, and afraid of what will happen, I have realized, perhaps I should just learn to accept my present and stop wanting something different.  
Tomorrow I will learn more about my fate.